The focus shifts and then life will never be the same.
That is not to say that it ends; no, but it does change, and one can be thrown into something that is both sad and inescapable.
My mother died yesterday. She suffered a massive stroke and Bilby and I and my younger daughter were at her bedside. She was unresponsive; she was there one minute and almost imperceptibly whilst we were holding her hand and kissing her goodbye, she drifted away.
We really cannot believe it, but we miss her.
The evening before she was celebrating Bilby’s birthday with the family.
It was a lovely evening which she thoroughly enjoyed. The next day she was rushed to hospital, and twenty four hours later she died. A shock for the family, but a blessing that she did not linger; there was no hope of a good outcome.
Dearest Bilby, Araminta and youngest sister,
I’m so sorry to hear that and i’m so sorry for your loss, i know i can’t describe your sorrow and pain, my heart and prayers go out to you and your family.
Bilby and Araminta you are wonderful people and i see your all family members are as you are and your mother must be proud of all her children.
You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you and your family an endless patient..Be Patient dear friends.
Best Wishes, Metin Yilmaz
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Dear Metin
Ever since I first ‘met’ you on MyT, I have thought of you as a kind, gentle and most honourable person. I have never had occasion to change my opinion of you.
Thank you so much for your comment, which is typically generous and warm-hearted. It means a lot to me.
Bless you, Metin.
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Your piece took me back to the Summer of 1985 when my mother died after ten years of suffering more and more destructive strokes, and Rebecca was with us briefly before her liver transplant.
Having seen my mum’s scary decline, I can appreciate your sense of relief that your mother did not suffer over years as so many people do.
The intensity of grief will pass, I’m sure. Meanwhile, please try to concentrate on all the matters worth celebrating in your mother’s life.
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Ara & Bilby, really very sorry about your mum – glad that her final days were filled with love and happiness.
Strength and warmest wishes to you and your family. xx
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Araminta and Bilby, I am very sorry to hear this sad news. May your mother rest in peace.
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Dear Metin, Dolores, Christo and Brendano.
You have all been very kind. Thank you so much for your comments; they are all much appreciated by us both.
We are trying very hard to be positive and we are thankful that she did not suffer but it is very hard not to miss her dreadfully.
Araminta and Bilby.
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Thank you so much, Christo, Dolores and Brendan. x
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Wishing you strength for the forthcoming arrangements and inevitable hassles that come with ‘sorting out’ after a death. Thinking of you
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Araminta and Bilby,
Sorry to hear of your loss. You are both kind, lovely ladies and I’m sure your mum was the same.
My condolences to your family.
JW
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Never having met and yet having shared a lot of my life when I needed friends, this news is not just about anybody it is about people I know and love online and most importantly people I trust. Your mother died a happy and well loved woman. I have no doubt she will have been immensely proud of you all and should have been well satisfied with her life. She lived to see the youngest and will have gone knowing a job had been well done.
I am on my own today in my wooden house on the hill. I am not ashamed to say a few tears are being shed quietly as I write; tears in Java for someone I never met, tears for the sadness and the loss you will be feeling.
Thinking of you today; knowing you will be sad but also having confidence in the stength of you all as individulals, and as a family.
Much love to you all from Java, and from ODL, Kat and me.
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Araminta and Bilby
So sorry to hear of your mum passing away. May she rest in peace. So good that she had a wonderful family day before she departed and so heartening that you were both there with her when she left this earth. I wish you tranquillity and may you both be granted steadfastness.
As Aramnta says, life will never be the same again, but may you both always be happy and fulfilled. You deserve it.
Love.
Shermeen
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My condolences, may she rest in peace,
Tim Sudbury
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I’m very sorry to hear this Bilby and Araminta. I’m sure she was a great woman, judging by her daughters.
May she rest in peace, may God give you patience and peace.
With my heartfelt prayers,
Levent
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My condolences, I’m sure that memories of her will bring you joy.
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Dear Ara and Bilby, I am so sorry to hear of your loss, but I am sure you will find consolations. I pray that your mother may rest in peace now.
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Araminta and Bilby,
My heart goes out to you and your family.
May your dear mum rest in peace.
Jim H.
USA
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My deepest condolences. She did well to raise two fine daughters such as your selves.
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I am sorry to hear of your loss, Minty and Bilby, hope she rests in peace. 😦
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My sincere condolences, may your dear Mother Rest In Peace and may your memories of happy times with her ease the pain of her passing.
God Bless
OMG
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Dear Ara and Bilby,
Sometimes we think it can never happen, that dear Mum will always be with us, and then Mum leaves us. I miss my mother dreadfully, but that’s OK – its a measure of how much I love her. You will always miss your mum and I am reminded of that piece by Matthew Paris, writing in memory of his father. Somewhere too there will be tears of joy for a life well lived and for a mother so loved. God bless. Is there Springtime in heaven? Why not!
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Dear Araminta and Bilby
This is very sad news, especially as it was so sudden and unexpected.
I hope that it will be some consolation that your last days together were happy ones. You will have some good memories, I’m sure.
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Dear Araminta, Dear Bilby,
I am distressed to hear of your loss. Please accept my sympathy. In your sorrow, I hope that you will soon be able to find comfort in the fact that your mother left this world surrounded by her loving daughters and granddaughter.
God bless.
Anna
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My thanks to you all for your very kind and generous comments here.
I do apologise for not taking the time to reply to you all individually. After a weekend with family and friends, we are now immersed in arranging the funeral and general “sorting out” and red tape. It is necessary, and frankly it helps to be immersed in something practical, although we do still feel a little shell-shocked.
Your kindness and support has helped.
Ara and Bilby
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Stay strong as you cross the desert. I know you will.
Anna
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Thank you to all the good-hearted and kind people who visited this post. Your comments warm my heart.
RIP Dear Mother.
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I am sorry to hear this, Ara, and Bilby. My condolences and love to you both.
Claire x
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Dear Ara and Bilby, you are unerringly kind and supportive to others. Love and condolences to you both xx.
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I feel a howl coming on. Sincere condolences.
OZ
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Here is some more messages from Myt:
http://my.telegraph.co.uk/levent/levent/16062865/sad-loss-of-araminta-and-bilby/
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Thank you, Levent for your link.
Thank you also to Claire, Roger and OZ.
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Araminta and Bilby, I know this will be a very hard time for you both, I agree with you that it was a good end to a life, or maybe an end to a good life, but none the easier for you now. I hope she has a wonderful funeral and a true celebration of her life and your love for her.
I have especially appreciated your support during my mother’s illness which has had a happier outcome.
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Such good people on this post. Again, thank you everyone for your kind thoughts; they are much appreciated.
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Araminta and Bilby, I can only send you both my deepest sympathies and echo Isobel’s comment about hoping your mother has a wonderful funeral service, a celebration of everything she meant to you and everyone who knew her.
xx
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Thank you, Jan.
The funeral is on Friday, at 1.00 pm and we have been busy organising it.
There is such a great deal to do, but I think we are almost there.
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Be brave for tomorrow and be proud.
My thoughts will be with you.
OZ
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Have a peaceful day, Ara and Bilby – warmest wishes to you and your family. (At my mum’s funeral years ago, I’m sure she was floating around laughing at the palaver and telling me to put my hat straight). I’m sure you’ll be sharing many smiles today.
xx
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I’ll be thinking of you today Araminta and Bilby. As you say being immersed in something practical has its consolations. It is after today that the reality will probably hit you and the hurt and healing begin.
xx
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I have you will have a good funeral.
Best wishes
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I think I meant to say I hope you have a good funeral.
Sorry.
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I hope it went well, and that you are still enjoying the company of friends and family, swapping stories and celebrating her life.
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Hoping the funeral went well and that all who wished to be there could get there.
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How very kind of you all. It was perfect; the sun shone, it was a most beautiful setting.
It was very relaxed, small children were present and everyone thought it went well.
It was really a very fond goodbye to my mother and although it was sad, it was very informal but just perfect for mother.
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I’m glad it went well.
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I’m so glad Araminta.
Today is the beginning of the next stage. I hope your memories of yesterday will help sustain and comfort you.
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Hello Araminta and Bilby,
I’m so glad taht it went well, i seconded Isobel’s hopes too.
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It’s been a while. I hope you two are doing fine.
Best wishes,
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Hello, Levent.
We are fine, thank you. It has been a busy time, and we are have been too engaged with family and friends to even think about cyber-space.
To be honest, I haven’t missed it much! Yesterday was the first time I been anywhere near my computer for a while. I’ve been away for a few days, visiting my daughter in Dorset.
Good to see you here.
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Good to hear these.
May the spring make you feel tipsy with joy. 🙂
My best to Bilby too.
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Hello again Araminta and hello to Bilby xx
It’s good to see you on your blog .. it’s a pleasure to be here.
I wish you and your family all the blessings of Easter 🙂
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A very happy Easter to you too, Marya.
Delighted to see you here.
I hope the weather will be kind, and I may even manage to visit my much neglected garden this weekend.
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Hello, Marya
A pleasure to see you here and I hope you have a very happy Easter. xxx
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Again, thank you everyone for your very kind comments.
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Good morning Araminta and Bilby …
Thank you very much for your good wishes …
Happy Easter .. the sun still shines here; hope you have a lovely day,
Marya xx
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Good evening, Marya.
Sorry for the delay, I’ve been visiting friends and gardening.
I’ve been neglecting my PC but I had a lovely Easter, thank you.
I hope you have been enjoying the wonderful weather too.
xx
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